The cat who thought he was a dog

Lincoln the cat has reached adolescence, and like a true teenager, he can be a real pain the butt. He also seems to have a case of mistaken identity and has some very dog-like behavior:

1) He loves to empty the bathroom trash and shred the contents all over the bathroom and house.

2) He drinks out of the toilet bowl, even though he has a water dish that is refilled daily.

3) He loves to play catch with a ball made of aluminum foil.

4) He's a crotch sniffer! What the heck?!

5) He likes to chase people. He chases the girls through out the house trying to tackle them, which is problematic because he has claws. They cry about this a lot. The worst was he chased a jogger on New Year's Eve and ended up a mile away!!

Here's the story: We were letting Lincoln outside for a few hours a day. He never strayed too far from home and always came running when called. On New Year's Eve Day, we let him out while we prepared for the party. When I called for him to come home, he didn't come. Cora and I walked up and down the street calling him, and he didn't come. It was 5 pm, the party was about to start, it was freezing cold and no Lincoln. Panic set in. Our first guest arrived, and I told her about our trouble and she said, "I think I saw a picture of your cat on Facebook!" Sure enough, a friend had him at her house over a mile away. The darn cat chased a jogger to their street and spent the afternoon going from home to home getting treats, being played with and all in all having a great day, milking the "poor lost cat" thing.

Between this incident and his earlier neighborhood schmoozing, Lincoln is no longer allowed outside. (I got a call from a neighbor that she "found" our cat, who wasn't lost by the way. Apparently, he was going to her house every day and meowing at her door until she fed him. No wonder he was plumping up! Second breakfasts will do that to even the most active kitty's waistline! When that meal ticket ran out, he tried the same thing with another neighbor who promptly crated him in a cat carrier until I could retrieve him. He only tried to schmooze her once.)

The trouble with his loss of freedom is he's terribly bored, hence all the activity he creates for himself. We've gone through 4 different cat toys, and nothing is as interesting to him as chasing the girls, emptying the trash and playing fetch. He'll mellow with age, but I really wish there was a way to let him outside without the fear of him running away or getting hit by a car. If there was ever a cat who needed to be outside for a bit, it's this one!