Tired and Happy Life: Papa Pat

My dad's life partner of almost 20 years, my step-dad and the girls' beloved Papa Pat, passed away after a nearly year-long battle with cancer. He was 80 years old, and while I am glad he's not suffering from his illness any more and know he lived a full life, I am so sad. He was a larger than life presence, and he leaves a huge gap in the lives of the people who loved him. I remember meeting Pat for the first time when I was a freshman at the University of Dallas. He and dad came to see me perform in Alice in Wonderland. I can distinctly see Pat navigating the potholes at UD in his enormous Cadillac. I think he called that one The Raven. I don't remember what my first impression of him was. Pat was so gracious like that -- he didn't try to insert himself into my life or my siblings lives until we were ready. And then when we were ready, he welcomed us with open arms. Shortly after he was diagnosed with cancer, I sent him an email. I wanted him to know without a doubt how much I loved him and what he meant to me. I'm glad I saved it, because now that he's gone I can't think of the right words to pay a fitting tribute to him. So I'll just share this email exchange and say how much I loved him and how much I'll miss him. Rest in peace, Papa Pat.

Dear Pat:

At the risk of being overly sentimental, I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt how much I love you.

I love you because you can recite the Canterbury Tales from memory.
I love you because you bust out some beautiful tunes on the piano as if you played daily.
I love you because you have GREAT expressions like, "Early to bed, early to rise, work your ass off and MOUISTURIZE."
I love you because you love my kids. I'll never forget how you beamed introducing the girls as your granddaughters, which of course they are, but it made me so happy that you see yourself as having that special role in their lives.
I love you because of all you've done for my dad. You've held him together when he needed it, and I am so glad you two have each other.
I love you for introducing Chris and me to your circle of friends. It says a lot about a person to have lifelong friendships that are as relevant now as they were when they began, and I love you that you're that kind of forever friend.
I love you because you truly have the gift of gab. I've never known anyone who can work a room as effortless as you do -- you find common ground with EVERYONE you talk to and make friends every where you go. You're my role model in this area!
I love you for putting up with me. I know it took me a while to warm up, but it was never anything to do with you. It was just the angst of a young person wrestling with her parents' divorce.
And I love you because you are you -- the one-of-a-kind, larger than life Horace Pat Baker.

I could go on, but I'll stop here and just say you're important to Chris, Cora, Annaliese and me. We believe in you, we believe in the healing power of God and prayer, and we're with you through this every step of the way. I can't wait to see you and my dad soon and just enjoy being together.

All my love and prayers,
Carolyn

His response to my email:

Carolyn, you and AR and David are the children that I never had. You and AR have given me the grandchildren I would never have had an opportunity to love and enjoy. You sincere. caring thoughts are deep felt and will always have a "special place" in my heart and soul. I, too, look forward to being with you over the holidays.

With sincere love,

Patrick